2014 Quarterly Report – Quarter 1.
Well now that the first three months of 2014 have passed, let’s take a look at what has happened in the movie world. Right off the bat, not going to lie, it’s been a weak three months! January saw ANOTHER Paranormal Activity film which followed the same tropes and scares as before. A new entry in the Jack Ryan franchise came out, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, which while inanely unrealistic, held its own against some of the lesser Tom Clancy’esque films. Audiences forgot about Warner Bros. I, Frankenstein even before it came out. And a film that I loved the first time I saw at the Toronto International Film Festival, Labor Day, opened to cold reviews and an even colder box office. January definitely didn’t do the film industry any favours.
Enter February. Two films on my MUST-SEE LIST came out the same week. The Lego Movie and The Monuments Men. Turns out only one of those movies should have been on that list. Click the movie names to be taken to their full reviews, but long story short, The Lego Movie, worth your time, The Monuments Men, can help you fall asleep if you suffer from insomnia. A lot of forgettable movies came out in February too: Vampire Academy, About Last Night, and Robocop (2014) to list a few. eOne went up against itself at the box office one week with Pompeii vs. 3 Days to Kill. I expected to hate Pompeii. I should have hated Pompeii, yet I found myself immensely entertained, whereas 3 Days to Kill made me want to kill myself, it was by far one of the worst Kevin Costner films I have ever sat through. I imagine McG writing this with Kevin Costner in mind… “I’m just going to go ahead and write every single Kevin Costner character ever into this one character and then give him cancer.” It was ridiculous. I didn’t know I could hate a subpar movie this much. I should finish February by touching on Liam Neeson’s film Non-Stop, but it was a fail in my books – and you can read the review here!
March 2014. Please God; let us start to get out of this slump. 300: Rise of an Empire, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, Need for Speed, Veronica Mars, and Muppets Most Wanted. All of them sequels or spin-offs. All with a niche audience. All of them disappointing. I really love The Muppets. I wanted so many great things to happen for Muppets Most Wanted but it was just so boring. I’m sorry. I feel dirty for even admitting that I really didn’t like it. There was nothing fun or pithy about it and the musical numbers didn’t have the same gaiety to them. March releases worth noting? Um… well I really liked Bad Words. It was dirty and vulgar yet incredibly intelligent and funny. Divergent was mediocre and Sabotage and The Raid 2 haven’t opened in Canada yet.
There are a few films that came out this quarter that I have yet to see, but look forward to taking the time to check out, those include The Grand Budapest Hotel, also on my MUST-SEE list for 2014, Enemy, Cheap Thrills, & Noah.
One more thing to bring up before ending off this Quarterly Report: two extremely religious films came out – Son of God & God’s Not Dead. They both hit the box office by storm one week, despite mediocre to bad reviews, and disappeared the next. Quite often you’ll hear evangelicals complain about the fact that these films are only on the Box Office Top 10 (for North America) for such a short period of time… the reason for which is because the church-based audiences all rush out to see any film like this, or any film starring Kirk Cameron, opening weekend and talk about how “great it is” to their friends and family. The only problem with that? Those that are going to go and spend their money to watch religious propaganda are going to do that on opening weekend, and that will be all who take the time and energy to do so, hence why the quick dramatic fall.
Top Winners of Quarter 1 of 2014:
The Lego Movie
Top Losers of Quarter 1 of 2014:
Anything released in January
Captain America: Winter Soldier
The Amazing Spiderman 2
A Million Ways to Die in the West
22 Jump Street